Superstitions for the playoffs:
1) Hockey beard - or the best one can muster, i.e. Jarome Iginla circa June 2004.
2) Avoid uttering the term "bandwagon" or accusing fellow fans of fairweather fandom - no need for infighting.
3) Beer, pretzels, more beer - akin to a consensus builder in response to violations of 2)
4) Absolutely no fraternizing with the "enemy" - unless they offer to buy any of the items listed in 3); in that case, pose as friend, rob, and leave for dead.
5) Don't touch brooms.
6) Don't cross paths with black cats - unless it works for you, then please, do indulge.
7) Wear jersey only on off days or before the game, but never during the game when watching the game on TV. If the team jersey has some mystic connection to the team, do you really want the aura of couch potatoes and drunkards dragging down the crew? I think not.
8) If at the game, always wear the jersey - regardless of the state of its cleaniness or any odours it may produce. The aura is different at the game. It just is.
9) During the playoffs, one should loudly chant "Go (team) Go!" at the moment of sexual climax. Chances are that if your partner can tolerate you during the playoffs - i.e. consenting to any act of intimacy; this would be nothing.
10) For the Flames fans out there, the only thing that truly makes sense when the Flames are out of the playoffs is this particularly profound dictum: Anybody But The Oilers. This is true, even when anybody = Carolina.
And when the journey is done, kick back, down a few brews (hopefully something better than Bud Light), and ask yourself WWMCD?
