Visanthe Shiancoe,
Keep your day job. Although there's a lot of growth potential in the business of banging teenage runaways and blondes with daddy issues, there are many reasons not to:
* no uniforms - well, I guess that's not always true; just avoid the bobby socks and plaid combo.
* no health benefits - then again, its only VD and possible back issues; so it won't be all that different from the NFL.
* no job security - but that would be the case if you worked for Al Davis anyways.
* having your body exploited and fetishized for the profit of others - okay, so when Madden says "look at the hamhocks on that stud", he doesn't mean it in that way.
* no pension plan - the Player's Union is working on that, right?
* there's no commentator jobs after retirement - but there would be producer gigs, though?
* the title Dancing with the Stars would need an alteration if you ever hope to make an appearance. Actually, I think FOX has that idea coming as a mid-season replacement.
* finally, protection is extremely thin compared to football gear.
See, plus, even OJ never went there. Oh wait, he went there, as OJ tended to do, unwittingly. There's no better reason not to do porn than the realization that OJ Simpson unintentionally almost did a porno. Yeah, it ranks right up there to having Michael Vick star in a Doctor Dolittle sequel among bad NFL entertainment ideas.
Sincerely,
A concerned fan.
